I really miss creating things, writing songs or just driving.

I basically miss anything that gives me peace and I think I should try to regain that. So, I'm starting it off by creating stuff that I like, such as photo collages. And memories. It's 04:08AM right now, I've been seeing the sun come up more than I'd like to lately. I'm happy though. Happier than I've been in the past year.

That is nice. 

For a while now, I've just been running. That's ironic because I haven't lost ANY weight (how unfair). No, but I haven't been super great in a while and usually I could regain some peace of mind by being alone; something that hasn't happened in a while. Mostly because I always feel like I need to do something, be somewhere, talk to someone. It's truly horrible and I need to work on it. 

​

It’s been years since I’ve had an actual good sleep. That’s something a lot of people say, and I’m sure they all mean it. But I really, really mean it. There’s always something that keeps me up at night. Whether it’s the bills on the kitchen table, the conversations I’ve had - or for that matter, haven’t had yet -, my decisions, my future, my past. Everything always comes out at night because I run away from it during the day. I know this all too well and this past year has brought out a lot of my demons.

Even the ones I thought I’d cast back to Hell successfully.

Hopefully summer break will return some of my me-ness, give me a chance to find it again. I would appreciate that.